The Placebo Effect

"I can say that I believe in God because I have felt him tugging at me in some of the most precious moments of my life. Therefore, I think that since God exists, everything the Bible says simply must be true. Right?"
-Me

I base God's existence on the fact that I have felt him. Actually, I feel him quite often. There is something I describe as that thing in my chest, the tugging of my soul, or that glow that flares up inside me. I quite literally feel a physical.. thing.. in my chest. It's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. It's there when I worship, when I feel morally conflicted, when I write this blog, when I pray, when I feel strongly led to do something, when I'm happy, and when I do service.. I notice it there a lot. Maybe its my soul, maybe it's the Holy Spirit, or maybe it's both; I don't really know.

An important time where I felt it strongly recently was on Monday, October 5th. There was a shooting threat on the Philadelphia area colleges that mirrored a threat that happened before a shooting in Oregon a while back. There was this creepy post on 4chan, a social media site, and everyone lost their minds. None of us had experienced something like that before. The idea of a shooter coming into our school was something we only heard about on the news; we didn't think it could ever happen to us. Police were everywhere, a lot of students went home, some classes were canceled, and several people skipped classes that weren't. It was good for everyone to do what made them feel safe, but oddly enough, I found that I  already felt safe. I had the glow in my chest comforting me. If I was somehow put in a position where there was a gun pointed at me, I was mentally prepared to die, and I was not afraid. I remember telling my roommate, "I'm not skipping class; the worst they could do is kill me." The glow inside me kept me strangely calm throughout the experience, and even though ultimately nothing happened, I'm glad I was able to not worry much even though I have anxiety. This thing in my chest is a huge part of my life, and a central reason that I continue to believe in God so strongly even as I face my doubt. 

The scariest doubt I have ever had came to me as I considered what exactly the feeling in my chest is. 

In my Psychology 101 class during my senior year of high school, we talked about mental tricks our mind plays on us. Our brain allows all kinds of weird stuff to happen, like optical illusions and false memories. While last week I explained evolution to you, on this segment of "Vanessa Makes Science Sound Simple," we're going to talk about The Placebo Effect. 

So, doctors prescribe us medicine, which we take, and then we feel better. A placebo is essentially a fake pill which is often made out of sugar and doesn't have any of the real medicine in it. Often times, when we are given the placebo, our sickness gets better just like it would if we were taking the real medicine. Because we think that it is the real, we feel its effects. The fake medicine shouldn't actually do anything because it isn't real medicine, but, as this picture shows, the real medicine and the placebo could both cure illnesses because of the Placebo Effect. 

What if I just thought that God was real, so my brain created the feeling in my chest? What if it's the placebo effect; what if I've been taking a fake religion with no real religion in it, and now I feel its effects? What if I think I should feel something and so I do? 

I think I'm going to puke. 

Well, all I can do to put my mind at ease with this is remember that my faith is not only made up of the feeling in my chest. There are many of my Christian friends don't relate to the feeling I describe, so I know it is possible to have faith without it. Even if the feeling isn't real, I still know that Jesus performed miracles and died for my sins. I still see the things that God does in people's lives. I still recognize the perfect proportions of the earth and its alignment, and I see the beauty in the intricate design of DNA. With or without the feeling, God still just has to be real.