God is not a Sugar Daddy.

An important part of college is living with people who are different than you. Whether it's your roommate, the people in your dorm or the people in your classes, everyone is different than you, yet, somehow we all manage to live together in a community.

I know we usually don't like to be around people with different opinions than us, but I think it is important to be around good people whose views differ from my own. There's a girl in my hallway who has opposite views than me on almost every issue, and I absolutely love it. We sit there and have long discussions about our views. It's amazing because even though we disagree, we are both heard and we respect each other's opinions. We never tell the other person that they're wrong, call each other names, or offend each other; we just have a conversation. It gives us a new perspective that we can each chew on and that might alter our overall view in some way.  Really, that is how society should be.

My friend and I are in the same Bible class, and we often discuss issues that come up because of that class. The thing is, my friend believes in God and that Jesus died so she could go to heaven. Here's the catch: she doesn't believe the Bible. She says she just doesn't trust it because of the potential for human error between what God intended and what the original writers wrote. Because of this and the fact that God gave her free will, she feels that she can do whatever she wants, even things that
I would consider to be a sin.

I disagree. I do not think it is possible to be a Christian without believing in and trying to follow the Bible.

First off, where does the idea of Jesus dying for us come from? The Bible. If you believe that, you already believe some of the Bible. She herself always tells me she hates it when people pick and choose from the Bible; she says either don't believe it or believe it. The problem is, by picking only the part about Jesus dying for her sins, she is picking and choosing. Our societies basic morals are in the Bible. If she believes in justice, fairness, love, responsibility, peace, and self-sacrifice in terms of charity, she believes in the Bible.

Secondly, after God chose people to write it, it was passed down through centuries of people, copied by hand and translated, all of which explain minor inconsistencies. Yes, there is a little human error, but it doesn't matter because of all the things that are constant. For a book written over centuries with several different authors from several different time periods, it is incredibly consistent. In several parts of the Bible, it is constant in its depiction of salvation by God's grace through faith in Christ.

Thirdly, is it that she really doesn't believe the Bible? Or is it that she doesn't WANT to believe the Bible? She is a very independent person, and I respect that. However, she wants to be able to do whatever she wants. She hates rules and being told what to do. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of having rules or of being told a certain way she should be living, so she chooses not to follow the Bible.

Okay, moving on..

I have a few strange uncles on my mom's side. One, Uncle George, has schizophrenia. The other, Uncle Warren, is just.. well.. odd. I kid you not, he looks almost exactly like Si from Duck Dynasty: Beard, glasses, hat and all.

Si Robertson from Duck Dynasty. Actually, this could be Uncle Warren. I'm not really sure.

While he's odd, he's also very religious. He goes on "God rants" at family dinners, and, honestly, I usually zone out. However, sometimes he has some interesting words of wisdom. At Thanksgiving this year, he said something that stuck with me because I was surprised by a term he used: "Sugar Daddy." I don't know how he even knows what that is; I guess he must be more cultured than I thought. And even weirder was the sentence he used:

"God is not a Sugar Daddy." 

Of course not! How could God even be compared to one?

For those of you who are somehow less in-the-know than my uncle, a sugar daddy is a rich old man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company.

Think about it: How many people, like my friend, just hang out with God once in awhile, yanno, pray a few times just to let him know that they believe in him, and then just expect to be lavished with all of his gifts?

That isn't how it works.

Salvation is an undeserved gift from God. It isn't defined by our actions. However, when you are saved and when you are God-fearing, you have to go the extra step and try to live your life for him. He requires us to follow his commandments. God did give us free will, but with that he gave us a responsibility to his own.

Being saved doesn't end with the initial act. The act of being saved should inspire a change in your heart, which should change your life from living out actions of the flesh to producing fruits of the spirit. In other words, we need to stop doing bad things and instead, do good things because of what Christ has done for us. When you are truly saved, living sinfully just isn't an option because you convert to a new nature of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Not sin.

Therefore, you can not be a Christian and ignore the rest of the Bible.



Shoutout to my friend, Will, and his blog: Halfway to Perfect
You can't just say you're going to be fit and just magically be fit. Living a healthy lifestyle also requires working for it.

Wut.

I've been reading God's word for awhile now, as you know, and I came into college thinking I knew so much about the Bible. Well, at some point sitting in my Bible class, it occurred to be just how much of the Bible I had never actually read. I've mentioned before how each time you read the Bible, you pick up something new; however, having a class about the Bible takes that to another level. In Bible class, we don't just read the Bible; we also analyze it from other viewpoints. For example, sometimes we'll talk about errors in translation, or other times, we'll look at the different interpretations and theories of various theologians and scholars.

My professor likes to throw in some knowledge of the cultures and the time period as a part of our lessons, so we can understand where the scripture came from. Sometimes what we learn is really really cool, like how each of the plagues in Exodus were taking on an Egyptian god, proving that God is more powerful than any of their perceived Gods. So cool. On the other hand, some of what we learn is really really not cool.

There's a whole bunch of stuff that we've gone over in my Bible class that just straight up bothers me.

You guys know the story of the birth of Moses, right? Basically, all of the baby boys were being killed, so his mother sent baby Moses in a basket down the river where he was found by the queen who kept him and raised him as her own.

Turns out, that was someone else's story first! There's some jerk named Sargon who already had that birth story! Sargon of Akkad was a king in the area before Moses was a thing, so the author of the story of Moses would have already heard about Sargon when the story was written. It was apparently a cultural thing. If you wanted to be taken seriously as a hero and a leader, you had to have qualities that mirrored former leaders; for example, you had to have that birth story. It's possible that even though it is in the Bible, that story may not have actually happened.

Wut.

Several weeks ago, we came across a particular passage in Joshua that made me sick. Of course, I had read stories in the book of Joshua before, but I think we mostly focused on stories like how the Israelites marched around Jericho and the walls came down. However, this particular story was different. Somehow, in my 18 years of living and with my church background, I never once heard about this. It was almost like it was carefully avoided because it is so difficult to address, or maybe because they didn't want me to know about it. This is the kind of passage that is dangerous in that it can totally change your image of God, justify violence, and make you doubt everything. Ladies and Gentlemen, this passage is just plain hard: Joshua 11.

"The Lord said to Joshua, 'Do not be afraid of them, because by this time tomorrow I will hand all of them, slain, over to Israel. You are to hamstring their horses and burn their chariots.'" (Joshua 11:6). And that is exactly what the Iraelites did; they slaughtered everything. That's right, God commanded mass genocide in the Bible. While that is disturbing on its own, that's not the worst of it. According to my professor, there is no other evidence that this event happened in any other history. They go on to face the same groups of people later in history and later in the Bible, as if they didn't actually kill everyone. Just like how we say, "the Pittsburgh Steelers destroyed the other team," but the other team just lost rather than being actually destroyed, it could have just been an exaggeration used to express military victory. That story may not have actually happened.

Wut.

There's a whole bunch of other occurrences like those that I could go on about, but I think you get the idea.

The thing that bothers me most about these passages is the idea that something written in the Bible might not have happened. Something about this makes doubt snowball. I can't help but to wonder if these parts of the Bible might not be true, what other parts of the Bible might not be true?

If Moses wasn't really sent in a basket down a river, how do I know the plagues even happened? How do I know if Jonah was swallowed by a fish? How do I know if God made covenants with Abraham and David? How do I know that Jesus died for my sins?

My first instinct to try to make some sense out of this. Alright, so maybe Moses's birth story is like someone else's... Who cares? Excuse me, my birth story is very similar to several people around me. I was born in a hospital, and I'm sure many of you were, too. Even people with more unlikely birth stories never seem to be alone in them. I guess people back then just liked to kill baby boys way more often than they should have, and since it happened more than once, I don't see why the same thing that happened to Sargon couldn't have also happened to Moses.

I realize that that was a really sad argument, but I don't need that crazy logic to believe. Sometimes, I think that God made this difficult on purpose. Making stuff like this seem unlikely makes any faith that is in him just more valuable. If you can believe in Him even through all the crazy things that try to discredit Him, you must really, truly believe in Him. What good is a faith if there's no reason to question it?

I can't go around doubting the entire Bible. I just can't do that to myself because deep down I know God is real, and I can't waste my efforts trying to run from that.

Water it so it will grow.

The worst thing just happened to me. My friend from camp told me to watch this show on Netflix called, "Jane the Virgin," so my friend, Emily, and I watched the first episode before I left for my home church's retreat this weekend. The show was super exciting and filled with plot twists, and I was so excited to watch it with Emily when I got back! But Emily was really excited to watch it too, and when I got back, she was already on episode 10-without me! Now I'm so behind! Oh, God, why would You let this happen?!?!

I'm just kidding, of course; I don't really care that she watched the episodes without me. But sometimes tragedies do happen in our lives, whether they are really small or really huge.

A few years ago, I met this guy at Cedar Point, and we started talking. That's a whole long, crazy story in itself, but the important part right now is the situation that guy was in in his relationship with God. He told me about his suffering growing up; his dad was abusive. He would beat him even when he didn't know exactly what he did wrong. His own father left him badly bruised and broke his nose on more than one occasion. He grew to hate his father, and worse, he grew to hate God. He would cry out to God time and time again and pray that his father would stop, that he could be safe, and to have a relationship with his dad again, but nothing ever changed. His dad still abused him, and he never felt any comfort from God. He told me he considered himself an atheist because he couldn't believe in a God who would let him go through that. Even if God was real, he didn't care because He never did anything to help him even when he asked.

I consider that to be on a pretty large scale. But what about 9/11? What about the Holocaust?

It would make sense for an all-powerful God, who created us and cares about us, to protect us from the tragedies and suffering of this world, but so often, it seems he doesn't.

Why does a God who loves us let bad things happen? 

My youth leader addressed this briefly as part of his lesson this weekend. We were watching this video series about searching for happiness in the right places instead of in popularity, appearance, and other things like that. The video told the story of this girl who found out she had cancer, and then overcame it. Then, she got it again in her lungs, and decided to go on her church's mission trip to Africa. After she came back, she was given a wish from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She wished that an orphanage could be built in the African community she had just visited. The foundation gave her as much as they could supply: $29,000, and people who were touched by her story donated the remainder of the $60,000 she needed to build the shelter. If she had never gotten cancer, the orphanage never would have been built. Sometimes God turns our suffering into something beautiful.

In the absence of the pastor, we did an impromptu worship service at the retreat Sunday morning. Several people were asked to play a part in the service, and it all came together nicely. My job was to read the Bible passage they gave me and to briefly say something about it that applied to life.

The verse I got was 2 Thessalonians 1:3-5.

"We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing. 4 Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring. 5 All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering."

What I got from this passage is that even though we have bad days or go through periods of suffering in our lives, we should still thank God for those moments because ultimately, he is using them to make us stronger. 

So, the best answer I can give is that God makes these things happen because he is shaping us and helping us to grow. Each of these terrible things is part of his plan, which is out of our realm of understanding. We won't always see right away what the purpose for each event is, but I'm sure someday it will become clear to us. 

If you really think about it, although it was horrible, there were good things that came out of 9/11. It brought our whole nation together. It encouraged airplane security system to grow stronger. I wonder how many more similar tragedies were prevented and how many more terrorists were stopped because of those security lines and baggage checks at the airport. 

Suffering for God makes us worthy of his kingdom. 

For example, if I look back at each of my ex-boyfriends, even though I went through a lot of trouble in those relationships, I know that I learned something from each and every memory I have from those times in my life. I've grown so much wiser since my first relationship and learned enough about what to do and what not to do that I'm confident that when I find the guy I'm supposed to be with, I'll know what I want out of the relationship, how to be an awesome girlfriend, and how to keep a long lasting, God-filled relationship. Without those first mistakes, I would never be ready for the guy that will come along. 

In the same way, all of the suffering we do for God somehow makes us stronger, wiser, and ready for when Jesus comes along. I like to think that God planted us all here on the earth for a reason and He is just watering us so that we will grow. 

So the next time I want to watch a series on Netflix with someone, I'll know that I have to tell them to wait for me so we can watch it together; I learned my lesson.

The Joker on Caffeine

Caffeine is a fabulous thing in life. It can increase memory, prevent skin cancer, help muscles recover faster, detox the liver and colon, and help us stay alert when we don't sleep enough. It's great.

Unless you're like me. For me, caffeine is evil. At first when I drink it, it wakes me up, I get hyper, and it's great. However, after an hour or so, sometimes faster depending on what I'm doing, something horrible happens. Caffeine increases insulin in the blood and lowers the blood sugar level. Then, yada yada yada, caffeine does weird things to my brain and makes my depression and anxiety worse. Normally, despite having anxiety and depression, I have trained my brain to think pretty positively in most areas of my life, and I manage to be decently happy and sort of upbeat most of the time. However, my brain on caffeine is different; my thoughts reach their lowest point, where nearly every thought is negative.

I drink decaf tea every day, just because I love the stuff and I can't get enough. I ran out of tea today, so my roommate gave me some that she took from the dining commons. It had medium caffeine content. Well, I really wanted tea, and, since it wasn't highly caffeinated, I decided to drink it. Bad idea. I was sitting in class like a half hour later, and I basically started to hate my life. All of a sudden, I hated Bible class. When I left class, I wanted to eat dinner alone because being around people was stressing me out way more than usual. Unfortunately, people sat and my table anyway and I was sad that I couldn't just be alone. Then I was sad that I couldn't talk to them because I just wasn't feelin it. I felt anxiety because I wasn't saying anything, so I scarfed down my food and left. As I was walking away, I had anxiety that they were talking about how worthless I was for not talking and running off, and that no one likes me anyway because I'm just boring and unappealing. They must have actually been relieved that I left.

Now, a few hours later, I know that that's probably ridiculous, they probably didn't talk behind my back, and they probably don't think I'm worthless.. Probably.. But that's just what I think because of my depression and anxiety, especially when caffeine messes with my brain. It's not just bad for people with mental disorders. When people have too much caffeine, it can keep them up at night or even kill them.

It just goes to show how something good can also be evil.

I'm sure you guys know Batman and the Joker.. Well, did you know the Joker was initially good, too? He started out as just a normal guy. Supposedly, he worked as a chemical engineer at a plant, and then he quit to follow his dream of being a comedian. He failed, and in trying to provide for his pregnant wife, he decided to rob the chemical company he used to work for. His wife and child died in a car crash, Batman chased him until he fell into some chemicals, and then he came out all white-faced, green-haired, and psychotic. Again, something created good became something evil. 

I'm just sayin', since the Joker obviously has some kind of mental disorder, I'm pretty sure that if the Joker had caffeine, he would be right up next to Satan himself. 

Like caffeine and the Joker, all of God's creation was created good. In Genesis, God created everything and saw that it was good. Humans, he actually saw as "very good." 

So if God created everything to be good, why does evil exist? Did God create evil?

My youth leader once compared it to the light and the darkness. Darkness doesn't exist. There is no source of darkness. Rather, there is a source of light, and darkness is just the word we use to describe the absence of light. In the same way, evil doesn't exist. There is no source of evil, but rather, evil is just the absence of good. Therefore, God didn't create evil. God only created good.

Evil became a thing because of Satan. You see, Satan isn't some creepy red monster with horns. Satan's name used to be Lucifer, and he was the most beautiful angel in heaven. God created Lucifer to be good. At some point, Lucifer tried to take his power to the next level; he tried to be like God. By doing this, he was up to no good, and that's when he became evil. God cast him and his followers out of heaven, and now they tempt us. 

In the same way, humans became evil when Eve tried to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. By using the fruit to gain this knowledge, she was trying to be like God, and that made her evil. 

Evil just fits into our lives like the shadows. It's just there and there's not really much we can do to avoid it. God did give us a solution, though. Because Jesus is the Light of the World, with him, we can cast away the darkness. 

The Placebo Effect

"I can say that I believe in God because I have felt him tugging at me in some of the most precious moments of my life. Therefore, I think that since God exists, everything the Bible says simply must be true. Right?"
-Me

I base God's existence on the fact that I have felt him. Actually, I feel him quite often. There is something I describe as that thing in my chest, the tugging of my soul, or that glow that flares up inside me. I quite literally feel a physical.. thing.. in my chest. It's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. It's there when I worship, when I feel morally conflicted, when I write this blog, when I pray, when I feel strongly led to do something, when I'm happy, and when I do service.. I notice it there a lot. Maybe its my soul, maybe it's the Holy Spirit, or maybe it's both; I don't really know.

An important time where I felt it strongly recently was on Monday, October 5th. There was a shooting threat on the Philadelphia area colleges that mirrored a threat that happened before a shooting in Oregon a while back. There was this creepy post on 4chan, a social media site, and everyone lost their minds. None of us had experienced something like that before. The idea of a shooter coming into our school was something we only heard about on the news; we didn't think it could ever happen to us. Police were everywhere, a lot of students went home, some classes were canceled, and several people skipped classes that weren't. It was good for everyone to do what made them feel safe, but oddly enough, I found that I  already felt safe. I had the glow in my chest comforting me. If I was somehow put in a position where there was a gun pointed at me, I was mentally prepared to die, and I was not afraid. I remember telling my roommate, "I'm not skipping class; the worst they could do is kill me." The glow inside me kept me strangely calm throughout the experience, and even though ultimately nothing happened, I'm glad I was able to not worry much even though I have anxiety. This thing in my chest is a huge part of my life, and a central reason that I continue to believe in God so strongly even as I face my doubt. 

The scariest doubt I have ever had came to me as I considered what exactly the feeling in my chest is. 

In my Psychology 101 class during my senior year of high school, we talked about mental tricks our mind plays on us. Our brain allows all kinds of weird stuff to happen, like optical illusions and false memories. While last week I explained evolution to you, on this segment of "Vanessa Makes Science Sound Simple," we're going to talk about The Placebo Effect. 

So, doctors prescribe us medicine, which we take, and then we feel better. A placebo is essentially a fake pill which is often made out of sugar and doesn't have any of the real medicine in it. Often times, when we are given the placebo, our sickness gets better just like it would if we were taking the real medicine. Because we think that it is the real, we feel its effects. The fake medicine shouldn't actually do anything because it isn't real medicine, but, as this picture shows, the real medicine and the placebo could both cure illnesses because of the Placebo Effect. 

What if I just thought that God was real, so my brain created the feeling in my chest? What if it's the placebo effect; what if I've been taking a fake religion with no real religion in it, and now I feel its effects? What if I think I should feel something and so I do? 

I think I'm going to puke. 

Well, all I can do to put my mind at ease with this is remember that my faith is not only made up of the feeling in my chest. There are many of my Christian friends don't relate to the feeling I describe, so I know it is possible to have faith without it. Even if the feeling isn't real, I still know that Jesus performed miracles and died for my sins. I still see the things that God does in people's lives. I still recognize the perfect proportions of the earth and its alignment, and I see the beauty in the intricate design of DNA. With or without the feeling, God still just has to be real.